Predictability is one thing I didn’t have this summer. I thought I would still be working at Discovery and living in Chicago until August, but God had other plans. When you hear God’s voice telling you that you have to leave, trusting and following that voice is one of the most challenging leap of faiths I’ve had to do. I know in my heart that I have to trust my instincts because the work I need to do in my lifetime is bigger than my fears or doubts- there’s important work that needs to be done, and there are sacrifices that need to be made.
I traveled to Vermont for a 3 week Conflict Transformation program and I was surrounded by incredible human beings with visions to transform their own communities. I backpacked throughout Peru and Ecuador for three weeks and gained incredible insight in South America. I haven’t “adulted” for two months now… And I know the free time I have now must be treated like gold because life is going to be fast paced once I begin my MA TESOL program.
I also ended a four year relationship apologetically. A lot of people have questioned this decision that I’ve made, and they saw things from an outsider’s perspective. Ending something that’s meant a lot to you but you know isn’t right to continue isn’t easy. It could have been easy to give into my self doubts and to think that I was broken for breaking someone else’s heart. I’ve kept most of this private and off of social media, but if some of my readers were wondering… yes, it’s over. The relationship was open to public and I usually share a lot of details of my life on here, so feel free to private message me if you’re still curious about what happened. There are two sides to every story.
I have been called selfish, insincere, and broken for the choices I’ve made lately. I’ve realized that’s okay, too. This journey of keeping myself together has helped me solidify the importance of knowing who I truly am. Actions speak louder than words, and my life’s work is far from selfish.
This summer I’ve learned so many of life’s most important lessons. One thing that’s kept me aligned and have my head together is by keeping my eyes and faith on God, and what He needs me to do in this lifetime. No matter how cheesy or ridiculous this may sound, God keeps me intact. I’ve learned to question my prayer life if my personal life is going crazy.
The 5 people you surround yourself with are the people you become. I have learned the importance of surrounding myself with people who build each other up with love… The friends and family that encourage me to live my life unapologetically.
I’ve lost something special this summer but I also gained so many other beautiful things. I’ve been so blessed and I can’t deny that. I’ve been given the opportunity to love, to rebuild, and to refocus. Oh, and my study abroad friends came to visit Chicago this past weekend. They reminded me to dance and listen to music if all else fails. My cousin always reminds me that I’m a bad ass bish and there’s no time for sadness. Sometimes, you know… you just need to give yourself pep talks and know that everything will be okay 🙂
I have less than a month in Chicago, and to begin a new life in Vermont. Everything that is yet to come is exciting, but I need to remind myself to focus and live in the present moment.
Live life, surround yourself with good vibes, focus on your goals, and love with what you have. There are always lessons to be learned and change is inevitable.