It’s Okay to Look Back

Journal entry from April 4, 2014. Two years ago, somewhere around the world:

 

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I figured out what I want to do with my life. I want to empower people to speak up, because that is the only way to become human again. The simplest form of oppression is not believing in people or their stories… I also want to work with minority groups, and a way that I can do that is through ESL teaching. Education is power.
 

Pretty cool how we can write things into existence. The photo above is from two years ago, and now I find myself in the MA TESOL program here at SIT Graduate Institute. In the end of a very long day sometimes we as individuals can question why we’re even doing what we’re doing, but I’ve found that I know myself best. There are so many exciting new things happening now that I still walk around campus and it doesn’t feel real quite yet. We have meals with each other, do homework together, have dance parties together, live together. There are currently 80 students on campus and by now I’ve learned everyone’s names. Pretty cool, right? I live on top of a hill surrounded by tall trees amongst living and breathing nature. There are days when you’re high on life and feel low because there are so many moving pieces in life. Things aren’t always perfect here, even though sometimes it may be portrayed that way on social media. I’m trying new things every day, and I’m learning. When I feel low I tell myself that I’m uncomfortable because it means I’m growing.

The hustle is real and that not everything is perfect and shiny all of the time. Tonight I took a break from doing homework and just took a walk in the woods with one of my friends, and it felt good to just talk about life. We talk about being first generation students and as ‘educated’ as we are, we still find ourselves in conversations that we don’t understand because our parents didn’t raise us that way. I didn’t grow up around the conversation of politics, academia, and philosophy books. And that’s okay. We are still kicking ass, but it feels good to be able to talk about these kinds of problems, be understood, and debunker our thoughts.
After taking a walk and a short break from the work that needs to be done, it felt so good to open up my journal from two years ago and to find this journal entry. It feels good because it’s the 21 year old Aurora reminding her 23 year old self that she’s exactly where she needs to be.
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